Amy Writes

Two posts ago, I wrote about being a recovering accomplisher, and how it felt okay to stop mid-project and say, effectively, "lesson learned...next?" It's a great post. I just re-read it and I really agree with myself on it. But it didn't stick. It never does. I must have written it expecting there to be a "next thing" right around the corner. OK, coach, got it! Yessir! Thanks for that lesson! I'm ready to play! But I haven't really been thrown in the game. Instead, for a few months, I've been feeling more like a ball girl...or sometimes even a fan without a ticket. One by one, the things that I've held onto, the contributions that I thought made me a valued team member - have been stripped away. Some through humbling physical trials, some through limitations brought on by this crazy life stage, some as gifts that just aren't working as well right now. They are all things that have me (or someone else) saying "not you, not ri...

We call it "reentry," that period of time where you stumble back into reality after being on vacation for a few days.  For what feels like weeks prior to leaving, we make preparations to leave - we do wardrobe checks and shop around to fill in missing pieces. We print itineraries, gather necessary identification, make arrangements for the kids. We do loads and loads of laundry so there's less mess to come home to, we fold, we pack, we empty trash, we clean counters, we wipe floors, we eat through the food in the fridge, we give someone a spare key.  And then five minutes later, we're back, with dirty clothes and jet lag, or sea legs, or vacation colds, and an empty fridge and we sit for a minute surveying the mess we've been able to make in under an hour at home and we wonder... what just happened? We drown for a bit in the depths of real life - of appointments and homework and driving and cleaning and unpacking, but usually we surface again before long wit...

Well, I made it 8 of 31 days. And you know what? I am totally ok with that. I've written before about how I have a hard time sticking to personal goals. I don't even make New Year's resolutions. I know I won't make it past January 3. Diet plans. Exercise plans. Reading plans. School projects, charts to fill out, etc... I start them all. I just can't seem to be bothered with finishing them. Last year, I trained for and ran a half-marathon . It was a huge accomplishment. I collected a medal. I wrote about what it felt like to start and finish something for the first time in years. And then I spent months nursing a bum hip. Early this year, I signed up to do it again - to chase that feeling of accomplishment. But eventually it became obvious to me that ALL I was doing was chasing that feeling of accomplishment, and I was likely to do it at the expense of my physical health, so I bailed. I like walking. I'd like to be able to do it for a number of years hencef...

Today is my birthday, and I am off, celebrating in real life! But as I considered how to celebrate here, I decided to flash back to a day that I really, really liked. Without realizing it, we'd been waiting fourteen years for this near perfect day. The year we got married, a band that was special to us began a tradition that would intrigue us for more than a decade. A music festival at sea, with some of our favorite performers, sailing annually. The Rock Boat. Isn't this a lovely spot for a little show? For thirteen years of powerful lineups we would consider joining them, and each year we would decide against it and say bon voyage as the ship set sail. We were too practical for something so whimsical; we almost always had no money, or a newborn, or a nursing infant, or a house closing or a trip planned with friends before the new dates were released. But one night last year, we pulled up the website and without too much discussion or debate, booked a non-refundable...

When I committed to this project last week, I knew I was being impulsive. But liking people was on my heart, so it's what I jumped at. I could easily list 31 people that I felt needed to know...I'd just work my way through my own family and get into the mid-20s... But what I didn't consider was confidentiality. It's one thing to write "Brother," or "Sister." I have one of each. Can't mix 'em up. But I am about to dive into a matrix of nephews, nieces and in laws that, without using names, is likely to confuse even me. And then if I start in on friends? Well, it's going to start sounding like a litany of unspoken praise reports. "Ive got this friend..." So because this challenge is primarily about me typing something for 31-days, I'm going to go back to the drawing board, and maybe figure out how to tell some of these stories in a different way. Speaking of doing something a different way - remember that sister I wr...

Being the middle child has its drawbacks - largely in the "Oh yeah! There's a middle child!" category. We are the quiet ones. The peacemakers. The "where did I leave that one?" kids. But being in the middle of the pack does have its benefits, the foremost being that the trail has been blazed by that trailblazing first born. My sister is my invaluable trailblazer. For decades now, I have followed in her footsteps and she has always been gracious enough to advise me on where to step and where not to step. Sometimes verbally. Sometimes by example. Sister, you are a faithful friend. A cheerleader. A rally-er of troops. You are an inspiring mother - giving, serving, planning, plotting. Your thoughtfulness is backed up by actions - you see needs and you meet them, end of story. You are an endless resource of emotional and physical support, not just to me but to anyone who needs you. You are a gifted leader and organizer. Your love for traditions, quality tim...

It's Sunday night. It has been a full weekend and I'm just now sitting down to get my writing in for the day. I am tired. So instead of writing what I'd planned to write, I'm giving myself a bit of a pass from the personal, in favor of a list. Everyone likes lists, right? So, here it is. The definitive, authoritative, list of 5 things that I like this week, in no particular order, with limited editorial comment. 1. Melodime - Try them. You might like them. 2. Brant & Sherri's Podcast - Dear Brant: I like you and your awesomeness. Sincerely, Amy 3. Showing myself grace - I can't recommend this highly enough. You've gotta try it. 4. Reading books I've read before - In a fit of "I must find something comfortable to read and I CAN'T FIND MY COPY OF WHAT'S SO AMAZING ABOUT GRACE," I started Wuthering Heights again. It's kind of like What's So Amazing About Grace, but without any grace. Or hope. And in spite of i...