Why we homeschool, (Part 1 of 762): Giving Up

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Four years ago, I stared into the sweet blue eyes of my blonde pigtailed first grader and thought: I give up.

I give up trying to get your piano practicing done before breakfast. I give up arguing with you over what is for breakfast. I give up arguing with you over what's in your backpack. I give up volunteering in your classroom, meeting you for lunch, going to PTA meetings. I give up car lines. I give up after school clubs and piano lessons. I give up squeezing in homework. I give up reporting in on sick days, or I'd-rather-stay-home days. I give up arranging my travel schedule around union days off. I give up school nights. I give up fundraisers.

I give up the disbelieving stares the teachers give me when I tell them you're a tough kid. I give up hearing about how compliant and helpful you are in class and wondering where that kid is when you come home. I give up being the third party in your conversations.

I give up giving you up.

We had tried really hard not to homeschool. Home education is a popular choice in our community, but I didn't want to follow blindly. I blogged my way through the decision to send our firstborn to public school, and it turned out to be a decision we were very happy with. Our school experience was top notch. As good as you could hope for. And yet...I just wasn't settled.

My daughter IS a tough kid. She is spirited and full of spunk and has more ideas in an afternoon than I have had in the course of my entire life. She has a better way to do everything, and at 3...4...5...6, was not at ALL interested in my way. She was, however, respectful of authority and would never dream of demonstrating her powers for a teacher. This meant that she saved it allllllllll for me. Every last NO, every negotiation, every circumstantial manipulation, every plot for home domination stewed in her little brain all day and exploded into a tirade of will exertion at 3:10.

School. Was. Exhausting.

So we gave it up. By keeping our kids home, we assumed we'd get to know them better, and they would know us. The theory was that with more time together, we'd all have more time to accomplish what we wanted to accomplish. I'd be able to say "yes" more, and she'd find time in her schedule to do the things I needed her to do.

That's sort of what has happened.

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