Explaining Politics to a 5-year-old
On the car ride home from school today, my five-year-old asked who we're voting for tomorrow.
"We're voting for John McCain."
"John McCain?" came the response, followed by the inevitable, "Why are we voting for John McCain?"
Pause.
How do you explain to a five-year-old parrot who is spending the majority of her days in the opponent's camp why you're choosing the other guy? Vague. Be Vague is what I decided.
"Well, sweetie, we believe that John McCain's principles are what's best for America."
Of course: "Principals?" Should have seen that one coming.
"No, not like school principals. Principles."
"OH. What are principles?"
Ugh. "Principles are like beliefs."
I'm not kidding: "What are beliefs?"
"Beliefs are ... like ... things you believe in." Parental eloquence at its best, folks.
"Oh. Like what?" Lord, have mercy! Where do I start? What would she understand? Do I explain economics & taxation using her halloween candy as an example? Cover social policy by illustrating how at the base of the problem is not lack of government programs but the failure of the contemporary church to act? Tell her that we already have a Savior, and we're electing a president and not a Messiah? no, surely not...
I spat out something about believing in hard work and believing that the government shouldn't be allowed to take the money you've worked hard for, all the time knowing that my simplistic response would have incensed even a five-year-old democrat and feeling terribly inadequate for being unable to wrap my political views up into a neat little kid-friendly package...
Mercifully, I saw a huge McCain sign and was able to redirect my monologue to "Look, see that sign with the gold star on it? We're voting for THAT guy."
The sign was enough for her, of course.
And, sadly, I'm afraid the signs (& posters & commercials & stickers) have been enough for an entirely-too-large segment of the population. And really, this time, Lord, have mercy, whichever way it goes.
Has anyone else tried to explain their politics to a kid?
"We're voting for John McCain."
"John McCain?" came the response, followed by the inevitable, "Why are we voting for John McCain?"
Pause.
How do you explain to a five-year-old parrot who is spending the majority of her days in the opponent's camp why you're choosing the other guy? Vague. Be Vague is what I decided.
"Well, sweetie, we believe that John McCain's principles are what's best for America."
Of course: "Principals?" Should have seen that one coming.
"No, not like school principals. Principles."
"OH. What are principles?"
Ugh. "Principles are like beliefs."
I'm not kidding: "What are beliefs?"
"Beliefs are ... like ... things you believe in." Parental eloquence at its best, folks.
"Oh. Like what?" Lord, have mercy! Where do I start? What would she understand? Do I explain economics & taxation using her halloween candy as an example? Cover social policy by illustrating how at the base of the problem is not lack of government programs but the failure of the contemporary church to act? Tell her that we already have a Savior, and we're electing a president and not a Messiah? no, surely not...
I spat out something about believing in hard work and believing that the government shouldn't be allowed to take the money you've worked hard for, all the time knowing that my simplistic response would have incensed even a five-year-old democrat and feeling terribly inadequate for being unable to wrap my political views up into a neat little kid-friendly package...
Mercifully, I saw a huge McCain sign and was able to redirect my monologue to "Look, see that sign with the gold star on it? We're voting for THAT guy."
The sign was enough for her, of course.
And, sadly, I'm afraid the signs (& posters & commercials & stickers) have been enough for an entirely-too-large segment of the population. And really, this time, Lord, have mercy, whichever way it goes.
Has anyone else tried to explain their politics to a kid?
Comments
PQ - ...and then there's that!
Funny, what the media will overlook if they like you. (now Google "Sarah Palin")