Two Weeks Out: Part Two - In Which God Changes the Rules

-
God and I have this little game that we play.

I think He calls it: Go Ahead, Make a Decision and Then See What Happens When I Change the Circumstances at The Last Minute.

I am a notorious mind-changer. Mind-changing differs from wishy-washiness in that I say, affirmatively, what I am going to do. And then, usually at The Last Minute, I say that I am going to do the other thing. For example: I will stare at a restaurant menu and declare I am having the Grilled Chicken Salad. And then I will hear myself say to the server: "Bleu Cheese Burger and fries, please."

It happened with my college choice. "I am definitely going out of state." And then..."Two bits, Four bits....all for the Gators..."

It happened with getting married. "I am starting my career, somewhere exotic." Followed 4 months later by..."I do."

It's happened with having kids and with nearly every vacation I've ever planned. I make a plan. God changes the circumstances. I eat my words and spew out unexpected ones.

So now, we have reached The Last Minute, and as was to be expected, circumstances have changed a bit. But it's a little different this time.

Part of the decision to put Eden in school at all was that I felt like she and I weren't ready to weather a parent-as-teacher relationship. She needs more stimulation than I am prepared to provide. She needs a social environment. And I need a break.

God's twist: We have had a GREAT summer. The girls have been playing well together, entertaining themselves. We've been successful at the school-prep work we've done and learned a mess of words together. And she seems to have mellowed out a bit and matured into a (somewhat) more obedient child who makes great company.

So now, instead of looking forward to handing her over to someone for a few hours a day, I sob into my pillow about sending my little girl away. I get out the homeschool catalogs and browse curriculum, gaining confidence in my ability to teach her.

But then I remember how convicted we were at the beginning of the summer about the decision. I remember how exciting it felt to be following Christ's lead, and how much we want to be a part of bringing the Kingdom to wherever we are - and how that's going to involve leaving the house. And I wake up and read your comments and I know we have to give it a try. I feel like this time, God changed the circumstances to see if we would run away from the call.

Comments

Loren Eaton said…
I've played that game, too. For the past four-or-so years.
August 4, 2008 at 1:10 PM
berry said…
I like the "Write" family...
August 5, 2008 at 8:06 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Gospel According to Daddy Warbucks

-
Image
Hooooow many times have I seen Annie? It must be a number in the hundreds. Add to that the number of times I've listened to or sung the music, seen the play...and, oh, yeah - there was that time I DIRECTED THE SHOW IN HIGH SCHOOL. Well, technically that was the sequel, but still, I was immersed in the story for like 4 straight months. So imagine my surprise when tonight, I'm just sitting here, minding my own business, being mom of the year by ordering pizza, cuddling up with the girls and having an Annie-watching pajama party - singing along with every single number and... what? Tears? What the...? Tonight, I saw a completely different story. See, there's this girl. An orphan. Let's call her...Annie. She's a pretty good kid, looks out for others, sings very sweetly. She's living in hell, but it's all she's ever known. She can imagine something better - she just doesn't know how to find it. She makes a couple of attempts at escape, but finds tha
Read more

A Baptism Story

-
Image
I rolled over and looked at the clock. I expected it to be somewhere in the late 7s or early 8s...giving me plenty of time for a leisurely shower, a big cup of coffee and the Sunday circulars before heading to church. Almost eight years ago we joined the church we still attend, and this past Sunday marked the end of a chapter there. Even though my family was out of town and I had kind of a free pass to skip, I didn't want to miss the last Sunday we'd have there with our friends, who had served as beloved youth pastor (and beloved youth pastor's wife) since joining the church on that same Sunday, almost eight years ago. We'll see them again. A lot. So it wasn't so much that I felt like I couldn't miss being in the same building with them, although there was a twinge of that. It was baptism Sunday. I didn't want to miss the last baptisms he'd be performing up there. Eight years ago, I chose to be baptized at our church. I'd been sprinkled after c
Read more

Where is Mister Rogers When You Need Him?

-
Image
It has been said that I am easily amused. Little things fascinate me. I like to know how things work. I like factory tours and behind-the-scenes stuff and those specials on Discovery Channel. I was definitely brought up this way: I remember my brother telling me about a conversation he'd recently had about "Jet Puffed Marshmallows." Topics covered were: What does "Jet-Puffed" mean? How big-a-jet are we talkin? What keeps the marshmallows from exploding when "jet puffed"? Several weeks ago, the girls and I caught an episode of the rarely aired Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. In that one episode, the inimitable Mr. R shed light on two very interesting processes when he visited a sleeping bag factory and a dollmaker's workshop. Have you ever thought about how a sleeping bag is assembled? Me neither, but now I know, and I am a better person for it. So here are a few jobs I would like to shadow for a day (or watch Mister Rogers shadow them), because ev
Read more