Middle School: Is it really necessary?

My first piano student walked through my door a few minutes late and plopped down on the bench. As usual, I was buzzing around her, collecting my necessities for my four hour stint at the piano. Chair, water, pencil, gum. I collapsed into my chair with my customary "How was your week?" and when I shifted my eyes from her notebook to her face, I noticed something was off.

"Oh, you're sick?" I said compassionately, noticing red-rimmed eyes and pink cheeks.

A quiet shake of the head.

Gulp. "Sad?" (please don't be sad...please don't be sad.)

My suggestion was enough to turn on the faucet. Tears overflowed as my precious little 5th grader spilled the events of her day - how, on the playground at her little Christian school, one of her "friends" started spreading rumors and calling her a liar, and how all of the rest of the girls in her class ganged up on her and started telling her they hated her, and how she was made fun of for getting 100% on a quiz and bullied around while trying to just talk to the one girl who was standing by her side.

Through my own tears (it just all sounded so familiar!), I tried to offer comfort and encouragement and sage advice and all I could come up with was, "Oh, sweetheart, it's only just begun..."

I talked about how middle school girls are just mean. I explained how some people are so insecure about themselves that the only way they know to make themselves look good is to make others look bad. I tried to explain that life is a process of figuring out who is worth your tears and who isn't. I even shared what we'd just studied in Bible study, about how Jesus just stood quietly while Herod the fox verbally provoked him. But all I was really thinking was: "It's only just begun. Hang on tight, and PLEASE don't make the same mistakes I made."

There is such a fine line between empathy and wisdom - between coddling and pulling up the bootstraps. I wanted to hug her and let her cry it out, and at the same time I wanted to throw her in the car, drive over to Mean Girl's house and share a little of my "wisdom."

I was still broken hearted for my little pupil, as she sat sniffling on the couch during her older sister's lesson, until her older sister shared with me a gem of a story about an underdog at her middle school who had stood up to her school's Mean Girl today with the words: "YOU ARE A BOOBLESS HOBO!"

Hooray for THAT girl. True, she is probably branded for middle school as "The Girl Who Shouted the Ridiculous Insult in the Lunchroom," but I don't know anyone my age who would not applaud the creativity of that dig - and if she can survive middle school, that girl is going places.*

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*I suggest Steve Carrell's writing staff.