Unresolved

Last December 31, I wrote this:

Resolutions

I am not feeling bold or committed enough to record any resolutions this year. I think, because, I've learned how easily my mind can change, and that what is important to me now may not be relevant to my life in a month. I suppose that is what's fun about them - to look back next year and think, "Oh, how cute, on January 2nd, before I broke my arm, I really planned to play tennis three times a week." But that's not how it works for me. I know myself well enough to know that I would either 1)waste time accomplishing silly goals simply because they're written down and I am bound by my driven personality to accomplish them, or 2) feel ridiculous amounts of guilt for not accomplishing them.

So where does that leave me? Goalless. Aimless. Heading into 2007 with no plans. Nothing I want to change or make better. No habits to break. I have got it all figured out.

Or, does it leave me knowing that I'm such a screw-up that it's useless to write anything down planning to accomplish it on my own? There is nothing on earth that I can do apart from the Amazing Grace of God. (Amen!)

So, here we go: By the grace of God, I will play tennis regularly this year. (Not once) I will walk more. (Nope) I will read a few classics. (um...not exactly) I'll be nicer, more compassionate, more giving, more faithful. (maybe?) I'll be more loyal, more loving, more patient. (debateable...) I will (please, DEAR LORD) memorize my pieces for my students' upcoming recital. (yay! Hooray! there's a video around somewhere...)

Maybe I'll start my own company, (not yet, but who's in?) or go on a mission trip. (no, but I helped send friends) Maybe I'll have more girls' weekends (doggone it, no) and make more friends (a few). Maybe I'll be more organized, more disciplined, more...together. (lost cause, I fear)

All I can predict is that this year, I will do exactly what God wants me to do, because I believe it's impossible to do anything else. It's kind of freeing, really.

Oh, and, by the Grace of God, I will watch the Gators win the National Championship next Monday night. (GO GATORS!!!)

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Well, other than my choice to attend The University of Florida many years ago, that exercise kind of makes me feel like a loser. Let's make a list, instead, of things that God's Grace did allow me to accomplish:

1) I kept two beautiful children alive for another year!

2) I was part of a team that put together a 3 day festival!

3) I didn't strangle any piano students

4) I spent more time in the kitchen

5) I traced my ancestry to the 1700s!

6) Having survived the seven-year-itch, I celebrated a 7th wedding anniversary and am thrilled about the next 57!

For this year: I guess I'll keep throwing tennis out there. And girls' weekends. And I'll keep working toward nicer, more loyal, more giving...there's always room for those...

What are your plans?