Living a Better Story, with Muppets
Twenty years ago, I was a middle-schooler sneaking episodes of 21 Jumpstreet. A look at the walls of my bedroom would write the story I planned to live: I would complete astronaut training. Between missions, I would grace Broadway stages in New York or visit the set of my husband's current film. My husband Johnny Depp, that is.
Now the walls of my rooms tell a very different story - one of food-covered grins, tiny, sandy toes and sun-kissed pigtails. I watch shuttle launches from my backyard and catch Broadway tours from Left Orchestra. My husband, Not Johnny Depp, and I are watching an episode of 21 Jumpstreet right now. Seriously. We bought it at Wal-Mart for $5.
One day, a few years ago, I realized I was living every girl's dream. I'd had some fun jobs. I had a wonderful husband, two healthy, beautiful children, a house with a backyard...and a full helping of boredom. The dream I was living was not mine. In fact, I had stopped dreaming altogether.
My life - my story - was getting lost in the details of managing a family. It would have made for the most boring movie ever, like a 0.5% on Rotten Tomatoes. Don Miller says that a great story is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it. Hmm.
I'm pretty sure there's no good story to be found with the elements being a bored housewife who doesn't know what she wants and avoids conflict at all costs. People would fall asleep just watching the movie trailer. I guess the most boring part was that I didn't know what I wanted. While living The Dream, I had lost the dreamer.
But then I learned about Abraham (again). I read about how Abraham was not the obvious choice for world changing. He wasn't a young, single guy with a seminary degree. And Sarah wasn't the polished wife of a prominent local citizen, with the kind of pull necessary to get things done. The more of the story I read, the more obvious it became that the less likely the character, the greater the story.
And as a young, married mother of two school aged kids, I started dreaming again. I began to see myself as Abraham or Sarah or Joseph or the woman at the well - one singled out by God to do great things. I wrote business plans. I staged events. I began to speak up. I found my voice again. I, I, I, me, me, me.
Still boring.
Disagree with me if you will, but one of the greatest movies ever is The Muppets Take Manhattan. The story is this: A character, Kermit, wants something - specifically, to put his variety show on Broadway. When the quarters run out and he can no longer afford to support his friends living in the lockers at the train station, Kermit must overcome the great conflict of loneliness. Throughout the film Kermit is convinced that the show is still missing something. When his friends return with new friends at the end of the story, our little green hero figures out the missing element: community.
Kermit, without his community - without his family - wasn't himself. He wasn't able to be who he was created to be.
And neither am I. Realizing this has totally rewritten my plot line.
As of right now, today, we are deciding to homeschool our kids. Remember that earlier post about how we felt the need to ask ourselves which decision would enable us to live a better story?
We could send our kids back to school. School is great. And there's no question that it would free ME up to write more of MY story. By MYself. And Not Johnny Depp could write his. And the girls could each write theirs, in their classrooms and activities. We could live four sort-of interesting, parallel stories.
Instead, we are diving into this new experience praying for one, great story. We want to be a family who is completely available to be made amazing. We probably won't go to Africa, but maybe we'll change the lives of the single moms in our neighborhood. We're not likely to take the stage, but maybe we'll start an art or music school for underprivileged kids. Whatever the story is, we will be an ensemble cast living it out together.
When Fozzie asks Kermit if their new friends can watch the show from backstage, Kermit has his "aha" moment: "What? No! No, they cannot watch the show from backstage. That's it! That's what's been missing from the show! That's what we need! More frogs and dogs and bears and chickens and... and whatevers! You're not gonna watch the show, you're gonna be in the show! Come on, everyone!"
My story was missing my frogs and dogs and bears and chickens...and whatevers. It was a boring show, because it was just me.
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So here's what inspired this post. Don Miller is hosting a conference about living a better story, and there is this contest. I would love to go, if for no other reason than to ask Don what it means to specifically tell him what I'm hoping to get out of his seminar without being detailed. (see Rule #2) I also want to learn more about the elements of story and how to use them in making decisions for my family as well as effectively communicating the Gospel. And I'm just going to say it - it would be a much-needed break from my bears and chickens and whatevers after our first month of homeschooling.
But even if I don't go, I'm thrilled to have had the opportunity to get this in writing. So, thanks, Don!
Now the walls of my rooms tell a very different story - one of food-covered grins, tiny, sandy toes and sun-kissed pigtails. I watch shuttle launches from my backyard and catch Broadway tours from Left Orchestra. My husband, Not Johnny Depp, and I are watching an episode of 21 Jumpstreet right now. Seriously. We bought it at Wal-Mart for $5.
One day, a few years ago, I realized I was living every girl's dream. I'd had some fun jobs. I had a wonderful husband, two healthy, beautiful children, a house with a backyard...and a full helping of boredom. The dream I was living was not mine. In fact, I had stopped dreaming altogether.
My life - my story - was getting lost in the details of managing a family. It would have made for the most boring movie ever, like a 0.5% on Rotten Tomatoes. Don Miller says that a great story is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it. Hmm.
I'm pretty sure there's no good story to be found with the elements being a bored housewife who doesn't know what she wants and avoids conflict at all costs. People would fall asleep just watching the movie trailer. I guess the most boring part was that I didn't know what I wanted. While living The Dream, I had lost the dreamer.
But then I learned about Abraham (again). I read about how Abraham was not the obvious choice for world changing. He wasn't a young, single guy with a seminary degree. And Sarah wasn't the polished wife of a prominent local citizen, with the kind of pull necessary to get things done. The more of the story I read, the more obvious it became that the less likely the character, the greater the story.
And as a young, married mother of two school aged kids, I started dreaming again. I began to see myself as Abraham or Sarah or Joseph or the woman at the well - one singled out by God to do great things. I wrote business plans. I staged events. I began to speak up. I found my voice again. I, I, I, me, me, me.
Still boring.
Disagree with me if you will, but one of the greatest movies ever is The Muppets Take Manhattan. The story is this: A character, Kermit, wants something - specifically, to put his variety show on Broadway. When the quarters run out and he can no longer afford to support his friends living in the lockers at the train station, Kermit must overcome the great conflict of loneliness. Throughout the film Kermit is convinced that the show is still missing something. When his friends return with new friends at the end of the story, our little green hero figures out the missing element: community.
Kermit, without his community - without his family - wasn't himself. He wasn't able to be who he was created to be.
And neither am I. Realizing this has totally rewritten my plot line.
As of right now, today, we are deciding to homeschool our kids. Remember that earlier post about how we felt the need to ask ourselves which decision would enable us to live a better story?
We could send our kids back to school. School is great. And there's no question that it would free ME up to write more of MY story. By MYself. And Not Johnny Depp could write his. And the girls could each write theirs, in their classrooms and activities. We could live four sort-of interesting, parallel stories.
Instead, we are diving into this new experience praying for one, great story. We want to be a family who is completely available to be made amazing. We probably won't go to Africa, but maybe we'll change the lives of the single moms in our neighborhood. We're not likely to take the stage, but maybe we'll start an art or music school for underprivileged kids. Whatever the story is, we will be an ensemble cast living it out together.
When Fozzie asks Kermit if their new friends can watch the show from backstage, Kermit has his "aha" moment: "What? No! No, they cannot watch the show from backstage. That's it! That's what's been missing from the show! That's what we need! More frogs and dogs and bears and chickens and... and whatevers! You're not gonna watch the show, you're gonna be in the show! Come on, everyone!"
My story was missing my frogs and dogs and bears and chickens...and whatevers. It was a boring show, because it was just me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So here's what inspired this post. Don Miller is hosting a conference about living a better story, and there is this contest. I would love to go, if for no other reason than to ask Don what it means to specifically tell him what I'm hoping to get out of his seminar without being detailed. (see Rule #2) I also want to learn more about the elements of story and how to use them in making decisions for my family as well as effectively communicating the Gospel. And I'm just going to say it - it would be a much-needed break from my bears and chickens and whatevers after our first month of homeschooling.
But even if I don't go, I'm thrilled to have had the opportunity to get this in writing. So, thanks, Don!
Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.
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