Two Forevers

Though my original, circa 1968 kitchen windows have proven to be a major obstacle to any kind of kitchen remodel, I still owe the designer a thank you for giving me such a wonderful distraction. From my sink, I look through counter-to-ceiling picture windows onto my screened porch and then out into my backyard. If the kids aren't playing out there, the birds are - or the wind is blowing or the purple flowery vine is peeking through the hedge or the blue sky is meeting the (mostly) green grass in a perfect contrast, like a child's painting.

So, one day this week as my hands were washing dishes, my brain was wandering. I have been musing about friendship lately - often frustrated at how impossible it seems to maintain a meaningful relationship with anyone shoulder-height or above who is not living in my house. With so many of our resources directed toward our kids, it seems that none of us have much left for each other - and so many of us have so many "each others" that it feels like we're trying to split a dime 12 ways.

And that's just the friends who live in town.

My mind wandered to my brother-in-law, who is graduating from college in a few weeks. The thought initially made me sad, feeling like it was just one more relationship that was going to change - now that he would be officially done with school and having a new job, we wouldn't get to count on spending time with him when we were in town anymore. That he, too, would have to begin the grownup task of dividing up the resources and we'd have to get in line to get our twelfth of the cut.

Until I was thumped in the head with a word: Forever.

Because my brother-in-law is family, he is connected to us forever. He's not a college friend who is graduating and moving on; he is someone that we can lay some kind of claim to, that we can expect to make appearances throughout the rest of our lives. Distance will always make it difficult, but on some level, we will have a priority status ... hopefully, forever.

Encouraged - (and let me point out that this conversation was had with myself in the space of about 24 seconds) - I began to think about Forever, and how it changes relationships.

For all of us, there are two forevers - the forever that ends in death, and the capital-F Forever that begins in death. The reality is that the majority of our closest friends won't be our closest friends forever. Seasons will change, circumstances will get in the way, distance will grow between us, and/or our humanity will make messes that will require time to heal. But the other reality is that it's okay, because the majority of our closest friends will spend capital-F Forever with us, because of their belief in Jesus who gives them "eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand." (John 10:27-29)

I think it's the second Forever that removes the stress of relationships between believers - it eliminates the time crunch and allows us to focus on knocking whatever opportunities we do get to be together out of the park. Like family, we're bound together, destined to continue making appearances at each others' tables. Remembering to keep an eternal perspective allows me to lighten up and treat every get together like a joyful family reunion.

Forever also encourages me today as I think about one of my sweet friends. Though our relationship has undergone quite a bit of change at the hands of children and distance, her family remains a very special part of our "eternal family." She is delivering her fourth baby girl today - Josie. Josie has Trisomy 18, a genetic defect causing multiple, life-threatening problems. The Doctors' best prognosis for a baby like Josie is that she will live for a couple of weeks, but our friends are praying that - aside from a miracle - she simply will live long enough for everyone in the family to hold her while she's alive. Josie won't live forever, but our friends know that, bathed in prayer, when she takes her last breath and they hand her over to Jesus, Josie will live Forever - and one day we will all have a great big Princess birthday party for Josie, in a place where no one can snatch her out of her Father's hand.