Explaining Politics to a 5-year-old

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On the car ride home from school today, my five-year-old asked who we're voting for tomorrow.

"We're voting for John McCain."

"John McCain?" came the response, followed by the inevitable, "Why are we voting for John McCain?"

Pause.

How do you explain to a five-year-old parrot who is spending the majority of her days in the opponent's camp why you're choosing the other guy? Vague. Be Vague is what I decided.

"Well, sweetie, we believe that John McCain's principles are what's best for America."

Of course: "Principals?" Should have seen that one coming.

"No, not like school principals. Principles."

"OH. What are principles?"

Ugh. "Principles are like beliefs."

I'm not kidding: "What are beliefs?"

"Beliefs are ... like ... things you believe in." Parental eloquence at its best, folks.

"Oh. Like what?" Lord, have mercy! Where do I start? What would she understand? Do I explain economics & taxation using her halloween candy as an example? Cover social policy by illustrating how at the base of the problem is not lack of government programs but the failure of the contemporary church to act? Tell her that we already have a Savior, and we're electing a president and not a Messiah? no, surely not...

I spat out something about believing in hard work and believing that the government shouldn't be allowed to take the money you've worked hard for, all the time knowing that my simplistic response would have incensed even a five-year-old democrat and feeling terribly inadequate for being unable to wrap my political views up into a neat little kid-friendly package...

Mercifully, I saw a huge McCain sign and was able to redirect my monologue to "Look, see that sign with the gold star on it? We're voting for THAT guy."

The sign was enough for her, of course.

And, sadly, I'm afraid the signs (& posters & commercials & stickers) have been enough for an entirely-too-large segment of the population. And really, this time, Lord, have mercy, whichever way it goes.

Has anyone else tried to explain their politics to a kid?

Comments

Autumn said…
No...haven't gone there...exactly, my oldest knows who we are voting for...I told her not to discuss it with her friends...which of course she did, and proceeded to tell them I'm scared of OBama...Ha, which of course is not true, but I suspose the discussions we have can seem that way to our little ones. Concerned, but not scared. Embarressing nonetheless.
November 3, 2008 at 4:38 PM
Loren Eaton said…
How about saying, "Sweetie, you know how you get an allowance, right? Would you like it if someone decided to take away part of your allowance and give it someone else? No? Well, that's why we're voting." [/ snark]
November 3, 2008 at 4:44 PM
Mary @ Giving Up On Perfect said…
Are you kidding? I can't even explain politics to MYSELF!!
November 3, 2008 at 5:16 PM
Amy said…
HipMama & Loren - those are two of the things that went through my head in that "pause!" The translation abyss of a 5-year-old frightened me away from any snarkiness or comments that could be construed as personal attacks.

PQ - ...and then there's that!
November 3, 2008 at 5:27 PM
Jim Jordan said…
My daughter was about 5 (now 12) when I told her what abortion was. I explained that our candidate was against it and theirs was for it. She hasn't asked why we vote Republican since.
November 3, 2008 at 5:58 PM
Amy said…
Jim, I thought about that too, but I fear the nightmares. How'd she take it?
November 3, 2008 at 6:11 PM
Anonymous said…
Riley is actually discusted that Obama smokes, that's enough for him not to like him. Peyton on the other hand, has had a discussion with a fellow 4th grader at school, who professed her support for Obama. Peyton, my dear sweet, tender-hearted Peyton, spoke up and said..."You mean to tell me that you support a man that makes sure that millions of babies never see the light of day?!" She was shocked and didn't have anything to say back. That's my boy!
November 3, 2008 at 8:51 PM
Amy said…
amy skeen! Thanks for stopping by! first, Obama smokes? wow. And your Peyton story made me laugh out loud. Probably because I know his dad.
November 3, 2008 at 9:11 PM
Jack and Lexi's Mom said…
How is this...Jack, you work hard for your good grades. What if we take have of your points on your next test and give them to Lexi, sho never studies while their is fun to be had. That way instead of you getting an A and her getting a F you could both have a C. Does that sound good?
November 4, 2008 at 6:23 PM
Mary @ Giving Up On Perfect said…
Wait - Obama smokes? Why didn't I know this?
November 5, 2008 at 1:56 PM
Amy said…
Sure enough! Google "Obama Smoking." Thanks to Riley Skeen for that hot tip! :)

Funny, what the media will overlook if they like you. (now Google "Sarah Palin")
November 5, 2008 at 3:24 PM
Mary @ Giving Up On Perfect said…
Well, that ticks me off! I didn't vote for him, so I'm not sure what difference it makes. But it does to me. Ergh.
November 5, 2008 at 4:42 PM
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