You don't know me...

Rubbed the wrong way.

Bad first impression.

Not off to a great start.

Weird feeling.

We all have people or relationships that fall into those categories, right? It's easy to classify or write people off with our gut instinct.

But what if you're the one being written off? I ask, because whenever I visit the library, I am exceedingly aware that I rub the children's librarian the wrong way. For some reason, around her, I am not me. Maybe it's because I find her loud and kind of scary, and I internally question her "expertise" in early childhood development. Maybe it's because the girls also find her kind of loud and scary, so we shrink toward the back of the room and become observers rather than participants during story times.

I know that when I am in her presence, I come across as haughty. Non-committal. No fun. Sometimes I want to sit her down and say, "look! I'm really fun!" as the girls and I dance around and march in our own parade and have rowdy story time by ourselves. (assuming those are said librarian's ideas of fun...) but, I don't do that. Instead, we lurk in the shadows, too good for this wacky librarian and her makeshift off-putting puppet shows that frighten children.

What do you think? Are there people around whom you have a hard time being "you"?

Comments

Unknown said…
Did you pack a lunch, cause I've got a list.
Jim Jordan said…
There are distinct personality types. You sound like me, #5 on the Enneagram list (the "Observer" is one nickname). Loud and scary people drive me crazy. I know I'm supposed to look at them as God does, but I find it hard not to be repulsed. And, yes, I, too, come off as wooden or standoffish when they're around. In Heaven, I think everybody finally stays still in a room, saying nothing, while reading a good book. Loud, obnoxious people can't make it to Heaven, can they?
8-)
Amy said…
Oh dear! Can you imagine a heaven full of loud, scary people?!?

Jim, I definitely fall into the observer category, yet so often I wish I could be the life of the party! I usually have the feeling that this part of my personality keeps me from loving people like Jesus does. I wonder where the balance is between coming off as a disinterested observer and a loving, involved friend? Do I need to practice, or accept that I'm not wired to warm up to everyone?
Amy said…
P.S. - Brad, I love a good list. :)
I don't know about specific people, but I definitely know that this happens to me. I tend to blame it on my multiple personalities...why is it that the "right" one never shows up?? When I want - or need - to be quiet, I'm running off at the mouth. When I want to be more outgoing, I stand around with nothing to say. There's just no winning.

I've never heard of the personality types Jim mentioned. But on the Myers Briggs test, I'm right on the border of extrovert/introvert. So that might explain it. Maybe that's where you are, too, Amy?

Plus - I think there's something to be said about chemistry. And sometimes, you just don't click with a person!
Anonymous said…
For me, sad to admit this... it's the people who socially try too hard. I really get annoyed with them, and turn into a bit of a ogre if I am not being VERY deliberate with my thoughts, actions and words. I even find myself working out ways to avoid them... and then I feel like a real jerk.

I am not a jerk, I just really have a hard time with individuals who have zero self image. I just want to beat them like a circus monkey until they can realize that they are more than just circus monkey's... ummm, I dont think that will work by the way. I am speaking figuratively.

Oh, and in case i forget to mention it LOUDLY, for EVERYONE to see...

TODAY IS AMY'S BIRTHDAY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORITE PERSON WHO IS WRIGHT ALL THE TIME Well, actually, there are two of you... HI MATT :-)
Brenda said…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY!!!!!!!!
I agree with Brad's comment! And I hope you had a great Birthday!
Alicia said…
Amy,
I have never been to your blog before so I am posting this in your most recent entry incase you don't get past comment alerts.
I just linked to your site from your visit at xanga I think it was, about public school.
I homeschooled for five years and the Lord called my husband and I to put our three precious children in the public school. I understood your sentiments exactly. I am now burdened to gather links for mom's in the public school and am hosting a "Seek the Lord in Schooling Saturday" for a place to share updates, prayer concerns, and praise. You are welcome to come by and read our whole testimony that I recently linked all the post for in a post a few days ago. My most recent one today was on why I feel this great burden for these mom's.
I hope you can be encouraged, and I hope to link you on the list.
I enjoyed your writing very much.
Thanks.
Amy! I just now read Mocha's comment - Happy Belated Birthday!!! I hope you had a GREAT day.

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