Play the Sunset

Today is Tuesday, my least favorite day of the week. I think it's because it's the one day I actually work, and the work right now is less than satisfying.

If you don't know, I am a piano teacher. Sort of. I sit at a piano for four hours on Tuesday afternoon while four precious girls come and sit in front of me, trying to convince me that they've exerted any effort whatsoever during the week. Teaching a skill that requires as much discipline and focus as learning the piano is an uphill battle with anyone, far more so with privileged South Florida kids who are sandwiching lessons and practicing between soccer, dance, karate, birthday parties and 4 hours of private school homework a night.

I love music. Music speaks to me in ways that words can't. Playing provides a release, the first thing I want to do when I am at my wit's end. I love my students. LOVE them. I want them around all the time because I think they are the greatest kids ever. And I want them to love music the way I do. But Tuesdays... I think I feel like Tuesdays point out where I fail as a motivator (and a housekeeper, as I am usually racing around in the last hour before they come throwing stuff in closets and closing bedroom doors...)

Here is something I wrote in February about the pressure I feel to balance my attempts to motivate with my attempts to instill a love for this incredible gift:

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Excuse me while I get all Mr. Holland on you.

I spent all weekend at a piano event. Hundreds and hundreds of kids (and teachers) work for a few months, perfecting their pieces to play before judges who rate their performances and determine whether they are eligible to compete at the state level. I grew up in this system - participated at every level from the age of 4 until I graduated from high school, which is one reason why I find it amusing that:

This year, I was asked to judge. I probably heard 75 auditions on Saturday - most by early elementary school kids. I wrote a paragraph for each piece, each student performed 2 pieces - what's that, 150 paragraphs? My wrist was throbbing on Sunday morning.

Sadly, for almost all of the students, I could use the same comment:

"Relax! Enjoy yourself. Your performance will be more musical when you allow yourself to have fun at the piano."

I saw kid after kid after tightly wound kid who have been taught to so desperately fear making a mistake that they are unable to communicate - or even find - the beauty in the music. I watched little robots take the bench and mechanically play the notes written on the page. These kids cannot comprehend "relax" or "feel." Piano is just one more activity for them to add to their repertoire of "things they can do." They're not taught to listen and communicate an idea or feeling. They're taught (by parents & society) that, in life, mistakes are unacceptable, emotion should not seep into daily activities - just accomplish, accomplish, accomplish.

It was really kind of depressing. We are raising still another generation of kids who are unable - or not encouraged - to express themselves in a healthy outlet, because they're so darn afraid they're going to do it wrong.

The social implications are staggering, when you think about it.