Amy Writes

When asked how someone could pray for me this week, I asked for victory. I just wanted to see some victory, somewhere. I was feeling a little defeated. A little beat up. I'd had a rejection or two in Auction World. Some frustrations with the kids. Some disappointing results on the scale and with the measuring tape. But sitting in spin class this morning, I was convicted. I was convicted because I was sitting in spin class, at 6 a.m. That was a victory over my sheets and snooze button. And I finished the spin class strong. That was a victory over my pounding heart and burning leg muscles. I caught a glimpse in the mirror and noticed that I was wearing tight-ish yoga pants and a clingy tank top. That was a victory over insecurity. I came home to two sweet kids and a wonderful husband who were feeding themselves breakfast with lunch already made. Victory over martyrdom. I swept the floor. Victory over crumbs and that feeling that I get when I step on them barefoot. I showered, a long,...

1. I will drink at least 8 full glasses of water each day. 2. I will exercise 5 days, including a 6 a.m. spin class on Wednesday. 3. At least 2 of my snacks each day will be fresh fruit or veggies.

With all of this talk of goals - training goals, fitness goals, shape & measurement goals - I must be careful to remember that goals met = rewards. Or at least it should work that way. So I need to be prepared! And it must not be something edible! I cannot reward myself with Ice Cream when the next jeans fit. This seems like it should be easy, but I'm coming up short. My inner administrator would like to create a chart illustrating the reward schedule. I would like the option to forego smaller rewards and roll them into bigger rewards. I would like to devise some type of point plan where I receive instant rewards for passing up empty calories... (i.e. passing up ice cream = 3 points; 15 points = an hour of "me" time.) But I haven't done that yet, because I can't come up with enough appropriate rewards. I think this is because I am not very good at rewarding myself, at least not with the universally accepted "mom rewards." I loathe shopping for clothe...

I had an epiphany today. I realized why I have never been successful at staying fit. It's going to seem like a no-brainer to you. But here it is: I have never made it a lifestyle. Ta-Da! And what's more - I realized today that I have never made anything a lifestyle. At least not permanently. I always have this sense that there are so many things in my life that I would be really good at ... If I would just commit myself to them. But my pattern isn't one of commitment. My pattern is one of distractedness. I learn to do something, I do it compulsively, then I place it in the "tried it" column and move on. In my head, I am still a pianist/volleyball player/tennis player/avid reader/writer/ancestry buff/crocheter/baker/cake decorator/scrapbooker... but if I'm truly honest with myself, I can really only say that those are things that I can do. Some of those activities see a little more time in my schedule than others, but none of them are a part of my day-to-day ...

My watch is loose. Well, loose-er. This is great news, of course, because it means that somewhere, finally, some of me is disappearing. And, just like every girl out there, I've always been very self-conscious about that unsightly fat that gathers around my wrists. I am impatient. So to show my impatience who was boss this week, I decided NOT to weigh in on Monday. I decided I would relax a bit, give myself another week or so before weighing and measuring again. The truth here is that I just didn't want to be disappointed again. I wasn't feeling particularly victorious this week, in spite of walking 112 miles through Disney this weekend and passing up every Mickey Ice Cream Bar, Churro and french fry on property. So I gave myself a break. And I didn't hop on the scale. Until after lunch. AFTER lunch, which is also AFTER breakfast (that's 2 meals now in my belly) and AFTER a considerable amount of fluid consumption. And guess what? The scale was lower. Surprisingly l...

While running through the neighborhood this week, (I know, right? I ran through the neighborhood! Alone! I'm awesome!) I kept huffing something to myself. Over and over and over again, with the rhythm of my heavy breathing, I huffed: "Not by might (gasp!) nor by power (gasp!) but by my Spirit, says The LORD." It's from Zechariah 4:6. God is talking to someone named Zerubbabel but I didn't know that when I was running. Okay, let's call it jogging. I think it pops in there because it was written somewhere on a wall at my Christian school. Maybe in the gym. And because it seems appropriate, especially when I'm running. Jogging. Speaking of jogging and my Christian school, I remember having to run the mile in 8th grade PE. I was an athlete, albeit not a fast one . But I was still pretty confident in my abilities. The Varsity basketball coach was an 8th grade teacher and I guess we saw him right after PE. Assumedly scouting out his upcoming talent, he asked us...

There are some days when you just want a cookie. Then there are some days when you just want six cookies. Yesterday was one of those days. I heard it said in Weight Watchers one time that if you drop a plate in your kitchen, and it breaks, you don't open up the cabinets and proceed to break all of the rest of the plates because you'd already broken the one. Well, I do. Except that the plates are cookies. And I'm not breaking them, I'm shoving them in my mouth. My brain actually justifies: "Well, since you've already had the one, may as well have that one too. And that one. And now would be a good time to try that one. Who knows when you'll give yourself this chance again? Grab that one while you're at it." I don't know how to explain this phenomenon other than to say that it is an addiction. In the same way that a person can be addicted to anything else. My relationship with food, and/or eating, has all the symptoms of an addiction. Secret bing...